Dear friends. It's time for the Tell Us About challenge, and this month eight bloggers, including me, are writing about my prompt, Confidence.
My first draft had to be deleted because I was approaching it from the wrong perspective, self esteem instead of confidence. The two are easily confused.
The definition of Confidence is:
Confidence means feeling sure of yourself and your abilities — not in an arrogant way, but in a realistic, secure way. Confidence isn't about feeling superior to others.
I've always been a confident person, although it's not often obvious. i call it quiet confidence. I learnt at a young age that unless I could find strategies to hide my shyness, I wouldn't achieve what I wanted in life.
From a young age I wanted to have a successful career, make my own money, and never be reliant on a man.
I made career choices which normally work better for bold, extroverted people. As a result, I had to teach myself to essentially become an actor so that I could fake it to make it.
Confidence Made Me a Journalist
At school, I told very few people that I intended to become a journalist. The deputy head told my parents I'd never succeed as a reporter because "she won't ever get her foot in the door." She thought nursing or secretarial work would be better.
It made me more determined than ever to become a journalist. I succeeded into getting into a newspaper apprentice scheme and was a print and radio journalist for nearly 10 years.
I then went into marketing and worked in advertising, PR and content creation, finally getting the marketing director position I'd longed for. I'd learnt my craft over a number of years and was confident of my abilities, which I needed to be. The corporate world of technology was very Machiavellian and male-dominated.
I came to love giving presentations, particularly to large audiences of sceptics, although I was never comfortable with professional networking or schmoozing with industry peers and senior managers. Below, I list some tips on how to enjoy presenting, as I know a lot of people dread doing it.
Confidence Made Me Carnival Queen
Nowadays we don't have much time or respect for beauty pageants, but back in the 70s, contests like Miss World drew huge global audiences. When my village decided to have a carnival queen with a procession in the Queen's Silver Jubilee, 1977, I was confident I would win. Not because I was prettier than the others - I definitely wasn't - but because I'd planned a strategy for winning.
I knew that appearing confident would make me stand out. The other contestants, mostly my peers from school, would be giggling and not taking it seriously. I also bought a distinctive outfit. It was a co-ord as we call them now, a belted jacket over a skirt in khaki green. I can't remember wearing it again, but it did the job.
I also practised walking with a book on my head because I knew good deportment would make me noticeable.
It worked - I won! When I got home, with my bouquet of flowers, even my mum looked astonished and said "You beat XX and XX?" (Two prettier girls). Yes I did, because I was confident I would.
(As a footnote, I probably didn't enjoy Jubilee Day as much as everyone else because my crippling shyness meant it was a struggle to have to shake hands with, and kiss, the tug o'war team!).
MY TIPS FOR APPEARING CONFIDENT AT WORK
- If your job involves giving presentations and you dread it:
- Remember, you're a subject matter expert. No-one can trip you up.
- It's actually magical having an audience in the palm of your hand. Learn how to work the audience by changing your pitch and speed when talking, and your body language. You can pick up tips from podcasts and courses.
- If the tech fails, talk without it. I did that once and it was amazing. I couldn't access slides so I just talked. And we won the pitch.
- If you see people sitting back with arms folded, obviously disengaged, keep catching their eye as if you're speaking to them.
- Make sure you are vocally providing extra context and depth, and not just reciting what's on your slides.
- At professional networking events, go in with head high and shoulders back.
- Take a deep breath and see if you spot anyone else on their own, or anyone you know.
- Prepare a few conversation topics in advance (keep them on a phone Note if you need a reminder)
- Wear the outfit that makes you feel powerful. Red is always a winner.
Now Let's See how the Other Bloggers Got On!
Debbie from Deb's World (Australia) likens confidence to boldness and reminisces about her YEAR of being BOLD. Confidence is something she never thought she had a lot of, but perhaps she was wrong!
Rosie Amber (UK) has taken a fun approach to this subject with a little personality quiz.
Penny from Frugal Fashion Shopper (UK) says Confidence is an elusive thing: it’s there and then in a flash, it’s gone. But it does reappear again. Capturing and keeping hold of this thing called confidence is going to be a major target over the next few years, she says.
Anne from Spygirl (US) mustered the confidence to pose nude at age 68!
Marsha from Marsha in the Middle (US) writes about the confidence she found in the most unusual place.
Suzy from Suzy Turner (Portugal) writes about her journey with confidence, sharing how simple lessons learned as a teen—like the power of walking tall—sparked a path toward self-assurance. From dancing her heart out at parties to finding confidence in front of the camera later in life, Suzy reflects on her own growth, amusing moments, and helpful tips for those days when confidence feels elusive.
I hope you enjoyed our posts on Confidence. Please share any anecdotes or tips that particularly resonated with you, and of course, your own thoughts.
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Next month's challenge is the final one for 2024, and Rosie Amber has chosen "Going Green" as the prompt. If you have an evergreen or new post to add to the link-up, make a calendar date of 19 December.
