November: Colourful with an 80s Twist

 

Dear friends. Here are my jolly japes in November. These included another colourful gathering of friends; a trip to Plymouth; a vintage fair, a new ballet and an exhibition at Tate Britain. 

Summer Dresses in Cold Weather

 And Wow on Wednesday

Dear friends.  2024 has definitely been The Year of the Dress for me.  I hardly had any dresses, this year I've bought seven, mostly pre-loved.

They're all summer dresses, but lend themselves well to being "winterised."

Let me share my latest acquisition, a retro look dress from Madcap England, and how I'll be wearing it for the next few months.

Full Skirts

 #StyleNotAgeChallenge

Dear friends.  Four blogger friends and I am back with the latest Style Not Age challenge.  This month it was the turn of Jacqui from Mummabstylish to set the prompt, and she chose Full Skirts.

Regular readers will know I often wear skirts, but I don't have a full skirt.  In fact I was a little flummoxed as to what this was.  Google tells me it's a skirt with fullness gathered into the waistband which fits through the waistline and flares at the hem.

New Reads in November

 

Dear friends. As I mentioned last month, the months leading up to Christmas are lean for new fiction. Not many new books are published at this time.  Fortunately I do have a handful of good new books for you,

I've mentioned before that I mostly read books that I get via NetGalley. I thought I'd explain what this is, and why it exists. 

Tell Us About: Confidence

 

Dear friends. It's time for the Tell Us About challenge, and this month eight bloggers, including me, are writing about my prompt, Confidence.

My first draft had to be deleted because I was approaching it from the wrong perspective, self esteem instead of confidence. The two are easily confused.

The definition of Confidence is: 

Confidence means feeling sure of yourself and your abilities — not in an arrogant way, but in a realistic, secure way. Confidence isn't about feeling superior to others.

I've always been a confident person, although it's not often obvious. i call it quiet confidence.  I learnt at a young age that unless I could find strategies to hide my shyness, I wouldn't achieve what I wanted in life. 

From a young age I wanted to have a successful career, make my own money, and never be reliant on a man. 

I made career choices which normally work better for bold, extroverted people. As a result, I had to teach myself to essentially become an actor so that I could fake it to make it. 

Confidence Made Me a Journalist 

At school, I told very few people that I intended to become a journalist.  The deputy head told my parents I'd never succeed as a reporter because "she won't ever get her foot in the door." She thought nursing or secretarial work would be better.  

It made me more determined than ever to become a journalist. I succeeded into getting into a newspaper apprentice scheme and was a print and radio journalist for nearly 10 years. 

I then went into marketing and worked in advertising, PR and content creation, finally getting the marketing director position I'd longed for. I'd learnt my craft over a number of years and was confident of my abilities, which I needed to be. The corporate world of technology was very Machiavellian and male-dominated.

I came to love giving presentations, particularly to large audiences of sceptics, although I was never comfortable with professional networking or schmoozing with industry peers and senior managers. Below, I list some tips on how to enjoy presenting, as I know a lot of people dread doing it.

Confidence Made Me Carnival Queen

Nowadays we don't have much time or respect for beauty pageants, but back in the 70s, contests like Miss World drew huge global audiences.  When my village decided to have a carnival queen with a procession in the Queen's Silver Jubilee, 1977, I was confident I would win. Not because I was prettier than the others - I definitely wasn't - but because I'd planned a strategy for winning.

I knew that appearing confident would make me stand out. The other contestants, mostly my peers from school, would be giggling and not taking it seriously.  I also bought a distinctive outfit.  It was a co-ord as we call them now, a belted jacket over a skirt in khaki green. I can't remember wearing it again, but it did the job. 

I also practised walking with a book on my head because I knew good deportment would make me noticeable.

It worked - I won! When I got home, with my bouquet of flowers, even my mum looked astonished and said "You beat XX and XX?"  (Two prettier girls).  Yes I did, because I was confident I would. 

(As a footnote, I probably didn't enjoy Jubilee Day as much as everyone else because my crippling shyness meant it was a struggle to have to shake hands with, and kiss, the tug o'war team!). 

MY TIPS FOR APPEARING CONFIDENT AT WORK

• If your job involves giving presentations and you dread it:
• Remember, you're a subject matter expert. No-one can trip you up. 
• It's actually magical having an audience in the palm of your hand. Learn how to work the audience by changing your pitch and speed when talking, and your body language. You can pick up tips from podcasts and courses.
• If the tech fails, talk without it.  I did that once and it was amazing. I couldn't access slides so I just talked. And we won the pitch. 
• If you see people sitting back with arms folded, obviously disengaged, keep catching their eye as if you're speaking to them. 
• Make sure you are vocally providing extra context and depth, and not just reciting what's on your slides. 

• At professional networking events, go in with head high and shoulders back. 
• Take a deep breath and see if you spot anyone else on their own, or anyone you know.
• Prepare a few conversation topics in advance  (keep them on a phone Note if you need a reminder)
• Wear the outfit that makes you feel powerful. Red is always a winner.

Now Let's See how the Other Bloggers Got On! 

Debbie from Deb's World (Australia) likens confidence to boldness and reminisces about her YEAR of being BOLD. Confidence is something she never thought she had a lot of, but perhaps she was wrong! 

Rosie Amber (UK) has taken a fun approach to this subject with a little personality quiz.

Penny from Frugal Fashion Shopper (UK)  says Confidence is an elusive thing:  it’s there and then in a flash, it’s gone. But it does reappear again. Capturing and keeping hold of this thing called confidence is going to be a major target over the next few years, she says.

Anne from Spygirl  (US) mustered the confidence to pose nude at age 68!

Marsha from Marsha in the Middle (US) writes about the confidence she found in the most unusual place.

Suzy from Suzy Turner (Portugal) writes about her journey with confidence, sharing how simple lessons learned as a teen—like the power of walking tall—sparked a path toward self-assurance. From dancing her heart out at parties to finding confidence in front of the camera later in life, Suzy reflects on her own growth, amusing moments, and helpful tips for those days when confidence feels elusive.

Leslie from Once Upon a Time and Happily Ever After (US)  has chased confidence all her life.  Has she ever caught it? Check out her post to find out. 

I hope you enjoyed our posts on Confidence.  Please share any anecdotes or tips that particularly resonated with you, and of course, your own thoughts.  

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Next month's challenge is the final one for 2024, and Rosie Amber has chosen "Going Green" as the prompt. If you have an evergreen or new post to add to the link-up, make a calendar date of 19 December. 

TELL US ABOUT LINK-UP FOR YOUR POSTS ON CONFIDENCE

The link-up is open until 29 November. Posts not related to Confidence will be removed. If you're looking for the Wow on Wednesday link-up, please scroll below to the previous post. 

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter

What I Wore to Good Housekeeping Live

 And Wow on Wednesday

Dear friends. I had such a great time at the event run by Good Housekeeping that I thought I'd write a post about it.  GH Live is an annual Christmas themed event, run in collaboration with Country Living magazine.  

I went with Anna who some of you know from her YouTube site, My Over 50 Fashion Life. We went under our own steam  (not gifted).

Beauty and Energy Boosters

 

Dear friends. Time for a beauty update, as I've changed my routine as winter approaches, and have been trying a few new products. Unless indicated, I bought them myself, and these are my honest thoughts. I've also covered some of the energy and cell rejuvenating supplements I use. 

First, my usual disclaimer, which is not to expect any radical improvements from using skincare products, no matter how enticing the marketing messages - how pro-ageing or pro-menopause they are.

Fatal Endings by Anita Waller

 

Dear friends. A different spin on a police procedural today because we're in the hands of the Forrester Detective Agency. The world of its owner, former cop Matt, and his partner Karen, a detective inspector, collide in this exciting tale of a revenge killing. 

I'm on the blog tour for Fatal Endings by Anita Waller. 

Cute Gamine Look

 And Wow on Wednesday

Dear friends. Thanks for the terrific response to last week's post, my frank thoughts about growing old (with some tips on how to deal with them!).

Today I'm back in gamine style. Women with a gamine style personality are typically petite and like neat, fitted clothes.  We don't gravitate towards print, except in small scarves.  We don't do frills, flouncy or oversized.

I Will Find the Key by Alex Ahndoril

 

Dear friends. Today I have for you an intriguing new Nordic Noir set in Sweden. I'm on the blog tour for I Will Find the Key, the new book from international best selling Swedish crime writer Alex Ahndoril. 

Publisher's Description

A man walks into a private detective's office, holds up a photo of a dead body and says: "I need you to find out if I killed this man."

The man in Julia Stark's office is one of the owners of a successful family business. The day before, he was present at a board meeting and dinner at his estate in the north western part of Sweden. The following morning, he finds a photograph on his phone of a man covered in blood, tied up with a bag over his head. 

Due to alcohol-related amnesia, the man has no idea where the picture comes from, and he wants to hire Stark Detective Agency to clear his name, before the police get involved. Julia asks her ex-husband Sidney Mendelson to take time off from the City Police and assist her in the investigation. Julia still has a glimmer of hope that this might be her chance to win him back. 

Welcomed as guests at the opulent estate, Julia and Sidney begin to search for the truth while dining and socialising with each of the family members that could theoretically be involved in the murder. 

I Will Find the Key is a classic whodunnit with a modern twist – brilliantly clever, and set in a country house deep in a Swedish forest.

My Thoughts 

Crime thrillers set in the present day tend to rely heavily on DNA, CCTV and occasionally AI to solve crimes. It’s quite refreshing to be reacquainted with the old fashioned perception and intuition that detectives used to employ. Sherlock Holmes could famously tell a person’s occupation by their hands or tell tale signs on their clothes. 

In I Will Find the Key, detective agency owner Julia Stark and her ex husband,  a serving police officer, combine forces to solve the mystery. Julia is convinced it will take her just a few days Staying at the mansion involves dressing for dinner for lavish dinners and cocktails.  All very Agatha Christie and reminiscent of the 1930s.

The family are not very forthcoming and it’s clear they don’t get on very well with each other. For a long time I was held in suspense as to whether Julia actually had the ability to solve the mystery. She admitted to being too impulsive with her opinions.  I was frustrated by her obsession with her ex husband.  The pair have several interviews with family members, but we are left in the dark about Julia's thought processes.

By the time the body is found, and Sidney calls the police,  I’m convinced Julia's investigation will now be over, because surely her husband will need to brief the police and they will take over? Surprisingly this doesn’t seem to happen. Julia summons the family together and reveals her insights on family dynamics and history, and ultimately, who committed the crime. Her insight is jaw dropping.

An unusual thriller in the modern take of a classic whodunnit that keeps us guessing. This is the first instalment in the Key series. Rights have been sold in 24 territories, and a feature film is in the making from a major international streamer. 

The author Alex Ahndoril

Alex Ahndoril is the pseudonym of Lars Kepler, the 17 million copy best selling Swedish crime writer. 

My thanks to Anne Cater from Random Things Tours and Zaffre Books for the advance copy in return for a book review. 

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Getting Old: The Truth at 64

 

Dear friends. I'm almost 64, a memorable age thanks to "Vera, Chuck and Dave"  (courtesy of The Beatles)*

We see a lot of clickbait telling us what women over 50 shouldn't wear. We see a lot of famous older women camouflaging their age, as if it's something to be ashamed of, thanks to cosmetic surgery and tweakments. 

But one of the things that rarely gets discussed is how we feel about ageing.  

I'm doing precisely that today.

The Village Killer by Ross Greenwood

 

Dear friends. I'm a big fan of Ross Greenwood's, he writes crime thrillers that have a great plot but are also grounded and realistic. 

His latest novel is The Village Killer, and today is my stop on the book tour.