Find your perfect Mother of the Bride/Groom dress

Shopping for a mother of the bride or groom outfit is a minefield. You want to look cool and contemporary, in an outfit that flatters. But too many dresses are sleeveless or in a fabric that clings.  And you don't want to go too mainstream in case someone else is wearing the same dress. Here are some tips on finding your best outfit.

I have two big weddings this summer, one for my niece and the other for my stepdaughter.  Above is what I wore in 2015 for my stepson's wedding: a violet dress with matching bolero in guipure lace from Gina Bacconi. This type of dress is perfect if you want to draw attention away from your arms. More tips for arm coverage below.

If you want something a bit more dramatic, Coast and Lavish Alice both have some great dresses and jumpsuits.  If you have the figure for a jumpsuit, why not? The pink one in the shopping guide would look sensational.

For my niece's wedding I have a Lavish Alice dress with draping over one arm.

 

There are more pictures here. And I'm sure you've seen how wonderful Laurie from Vanity and Me looked in a Coast dress.

Bombshell dresses by Katya Wildman are wonderful for creating curves, as is Vivienne Westwood.

Find a dress at a lower cost

Unfortunately, like the bride, you may not wear your dress again. I didn't wear the violet number after the wedding. But a great way to save money, and avoid being seen in the same outfit as someone else, is to either go to a secondhand fashion shop or search at eBay for your favourite brands.

I found a great pre-loved Joseph Ribkoff dress at Suzanne Carillo's Etsy shop  plus a sleeveless one at eBay which I will wear with a bolero from Kettlewell. I may wear this one to my step daughter's wedding, which will be less formal. Frank Lyman is another Canadian designer worth checking out on eBay.

Accessories

A wedding can be a long day that doesn't end until the early hours of the morning. Stylish but comfortable sandals or shoes are vital. Vionic have some gorgeous sandals and wedges that belie the podiatrist-approved engineering that goes into them. Bunion sufferers can find some fabulous designs at Callas Shoes.

Bags for weddings can be fun. You only need a small clutch or embellished evening bag, and there are some brilliant buys at Accessorize and Asos. No need to break the bank.

There's a perception that hats or fascinators are compulsory for weddings. Not so, according to etiquette experts Debrett's. However, if you decide to wear a hat, they advise: "It is notoriously difficult to socially kiss while wearing a wide-brimmed hat. There is a knack to tilting the head at a suitable angle, but two ladies both in wide brimmed hats should avoid such an ‘intimate’ greeting."

My step daughter, who is having a rock n roll wedding, is adamant there should be no fascinators. Good news!!

The Matchy Matchy debate

One of the big questions is around being matchy matchy. Is it wrong to match your handbag and shoes?

On this one, I say it's totally up to you.  Ignore those who say they must look different. For my outfit in the picture at the top, I decided to go monochrome and have sandals and fascinator in the same colour as the dress. I did consider silver, but that would not have looked good on my blonde hair. It was a challenge at the time finding shoes in the right colour, but persevere online and you will find!

Ways to hide arms 

Boleros and shrugs, sometimes made of fur or feathers depending on the season, can add drama to your outfit while serving the purpose of providing arm coverage.  I'm not so keen on pashminas as they do look a bit dated. Crop cashmere cardigans are another good buy, particularly if you have a vintage style waisted dress. Boden and Pure Collection have a good selection.

Famous Mothers of the Bride/Groom

Carole Middleton at the wedding of her daughter Kate to Prince William

The Queen with the Queen Mother at the wedding of Prince Charles and Diana Spencer 

The Princess Royal at the wedding of her daughter Zara Phillips 

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